the bright side (an epilogue, of sorts)

i am cautiously hopeful that this will be a story with an ending... and a happy one, at that. while i will continue to update this blog from time to time, i feel compelled to post some sort of conclusion as i close this chapter of my life. although this story may end, in the words of my oncologist, 'cancer is forever'. of course she's alluding to the forever impact it will have on my health and the risks associated with all that my body endured through treatment. however, cancer has impacted me in other ways that i hope will also be with me forever.

cancer has brought many gifts into my life: it has afforded me invaluable quality time with my family. it has brought me closer than ever to my husband. it has reconnected me with old friends. it has made me more mindful of what i put in and on my body and how my actions affect other people. it has caused me to become more involved in my community. it has brought new meaning to the words love, loyalty and hope. it has reinforced my values and reminded me of the words i try to live by:

love. laugh. listen. put family first. be a forever friend. live and let live. be present.
remember that you always have the power to make a good decision, even in a bad situation.
seize opportunities. choose your words wisely. be prepared for the worst, but expect the best. 
express thanks. be true to yourself. get busy living.

i realize there will be challenges associated with the new perspective cancer has afforded me; facing my own mortality only to be catapulted back into a world where some people make big deals out of 'little things' will seem frustrating to me. i will struggle to strike balance between keeping the big picture in mind while juggling the conflicting priorities of day to day life. i will have to bite my tongue every time i see someone smoking a cigarette, not wearing a seat belt, or under-appreciating life. however, these implications are far offset by the blazing bright side.

while cancer hasn't 'changed' me, per se, the characteristics i possessed previously have now been touched with a bolder shade of color. i am a brighter and more vivid degree of appreciative, sentimental, engaged, positive and alive. perhaps the greatest gift cancer has given me is a lens through which i will see the rest of my life.... a lens of gratitude, of beauty and of inspiration. perhaps the rest of my life will be better for this experience. perhaps i should be thanking cancer for blessing me with a gift so early in my life that few people ever have the chance to appreciate.

 
10 doctors, 5 incisions, 50+ leg scars, 8 tattoos and 7 long months later, we're on the other side. we 'beat' this. i surely could not have survived this alone. the words 'thank you' can't even touch the magnitude of my appreciation. i am so fortunate to have each of you in my life, and i am eternally grateful for all you have done to support me over the last several months. here's to the end of a chapter and the beginning of the rest of this amazing life...